It has been awhile since I have had the time to sit down and work on this blog. The past weekend has been a blur of preparing to watch one of my favorite couples in the world make it down the aisle. I am happy to say that after rehearsal, dinner, and a cold from being outside too long, my children's godmother and her fiance are now husband and wife. This wedding has given me a lot to think about. I have never really thought it was possible to love someone so much (outside of my children), that a man would tear up at the sight of the women he loves walking down the aisle in a white (OK it was ivory) dress. I was a bridesmaid in this wedding, and I can honestly say I feel so privileged to know such a loving, kind, wonderful couple. There are not enough positive adjectives in the English language to describe what wonderful people my friends Paula and Kenneth are. I cried like a baby when I saw my friend walk down the aisle. I have spent so much time wishing that I could have a wedding with my son's father, but something hit me at this wedding.
Seeing how they looked at each other, how happy they were to be committing to each other for the rest of their lives, and how engrossed they were in each other, I discovered that walking down the aisle with whatever I changed his name to for the sake of this blog, that we would never have that in a million years. No matter how hard either one of us tries, if we were ever together, it would strictly be for our children and we would all be miserable. I have previously, thought that once you have children you should stick together no matter what. I have held onto that idea for the past two years. It hit me somewhere around the time of the happy couple's first dance together (which was executed beautifully if your reading this), that I want to find a man that looks at me the way Kenneth looked at Paula at this wedding. I am still trying to process my slight shift in viewpoint, although I don't think you should throw the towel in on your family from the get go.
In addition to this change in attitude, and what I now know I want, I defiantly won't settle for anything less then a man who looks at me the way I'm describing what I witnessed this past Sunday. I always said I wanted someone to take out the trash, pull it to the curb every Tuesday and Friday morning, and bring it back at night, and to go put gas in my car when I don't feel like it. I am capable of the above, (as well as being the bug flusher, the one who had to pick a dead mouse out of the washer and re wash all the clothes, and the mother and father to my two boys), but that doesn't mean I like doing the bug and mouse thing, and taking charge of the garbage. I would honestly prefer to regulate those chores to someone else! I have a different idea now though. It's nice to have all of these things, but what matters is finding someone that completes you. I guess the idea of "your other half" really does exist, it's just up to us to wait for a great thing to come along.
Without further ado, I am going to hit the sheets, as I have some good dreams in store for me tonight I think!
Erica
Seeing how they looked at each other, how happy they were to be committing to each other for the rest of their lives, and how engrossed they were in each other, I discovered that walking down the aisle with whatever I changed his name to for the sake of this blog, that we would never have that in a million years. No matter how hard either one of us tries, if we were ever together, it would strictly be for our children and we would all be miserable. I have previously, thought that once you have children you should stick together no matter what. I have held onto that idea for the past two years. It hit me somewhere around the time of the happy couple's first dance together (which was executed beautifully if your reading this), that I want to find a man that looks at me the way Kenneth looked at Paula at this wedding. I am still trying to process my slight shift in viewpoint, although I don't think you should throw the towel in on your family from the get go.
In addition to this change in attitude, and what I now know I want, I defiantly won't settle for anything less then a man who looks at me the way I'm describing what I witnessed this past Sunday. I always said I wanted someone to take out the trash, pull it to the curb every Tuesday and Friday morning, and bring it back at night, and to go put gas in my car when I don't feel like it. I am capable of the above, (as well as being the bug flusher, the one who had to pick a dead mouse out of the washer and re wash all the clothes, and the mother and father to my two boys), but that doesn't mean I like doing the bug and mouse thing, and taking charge of the garbage. I would honestly prefer to regulate those chores to someone else! I have a different idea now though. It's nice to have all of these things, but what matters is finding someone that completes you. I guess the idea of "your other half" really does exist, it's just up to us to wait for a great thing to come along.
Without further ado, I am going to hit the sheets, as I have some good dreams in store for me tonight I think!
Erica
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