Whose to Blame?

Tonight I am going to focus on a topic that has absolutely nothing to do with me. Well, minus the single mom thing, which is common in the group of people that I am about to talk about. My focus for this post will be on the teen mom. Many would blame shows like "Sixteen and Pregnant", or "Teen Mom" for encouraging young girls to become mom's early. To this I would say, if your stupid enough to think being sixteen and getting knocked up, is a guarantee to getting your newly stretch marked ass on TV, you would deserve what you get for being so dumb. Unfortunately, you would also then be responsible for raising human life, which is a huge responsibility and scary that someone that thinks making themselves a part of the teen mom statistic is a good idea, would be taking on. As a much older single mother I find that it is difficult, stressful, and overwhelming. This is after I have already had time to party, be carefree, and accomplish some of the things that I wanted to before having children. I could not imagine not having time to get my wild side out before settling down to be a parent. That's just the kid part. Add on trying to earn a higher degree, jump through the hoops of the Board of Professional Counselors and Therapists, relationship drama, baby daddy drama and the hurt and resentments left behind, and a tight and sometimes impossible financial situation, and it's almost unmanageable at age 26. I could not imagine taking on a responsibility like this any early than age 23, three weeks away from 24, which was the age that I started my journey with my little boys.

When I look back at myself at age 16 I was a happy teenager, taking ballet, and participating in cheerleading, and hanging out with my friends. At age 16 sex was probably about the furthest thing from my mind. This past year I attended a football game at my high school, and was shocked by the tight, short little napkins the girls were trying to pass for clothes. I may sound old while saying this, but no one, and I mean no one, would have shown so much skin at a high school football game when I was in school. For one thing, it's too freaking cold during the last half of the football season to not wear any clothing. For another, when I was in school we had this thing called a dress code, and even wearing a tank top could get you sent home. From what I remember, it was jeans and t-shirts all the way in high school. From this experience and another experience I got when I worked in a high school in 2010, things certainly have changed. That aside, we tend to blame TV shows, poor parenting skills, lack of parental control, drug and alcohol abuse, and many other reasons for teen pregnancy. All of these reasons are defiantly valid. Let's of course not hold our teens be responsible for their actions. After all, the girls of teen mom 2 didn't impregnate our little angels now did they? Sorry let my put my jaded face away, (it tends to slip out after a long day at work). The real reason that I am writing this is that I have found the cause of teen pregnancy. Yes that's right. Yes it's TV, no it's not "Sixteen and Pregnant". Drum roll please........................................................

It's Barney! This sounds totally crazy, but this past Sunday morning I was watching an old episode of Barney on, On Demand with my kids. It's one that had a similar story line to an episode I remember seeing as a child. It had Baby Bop looking at a mommy holding a baby and saying "I want a baby!!!" and then proceeding to push around her teddy bear in a stroller, singing about playing, and eating when her teddy eats, and I'm thinking, hmmm what reality is this little green and pink fruitcake singing about? I ate standing over the kitchen counter that same morning, making pancakes and responding to "more cake, more cake", over and over again, since my sons can eat an entire batch of pancakes by themselves. Not that I really mind Barney, my kids love him and if my kids are entertained that's a positive in my book. That means the dishes can be washed, and I can sweep the floor, etc. So all hail to Baby Bob, Barney, and the whole crew. Do I honestly think that this show causes teen pregnancy? Absolutely not. I do however, think that it emphasizes starting from a young age, how little we inform our children about how difficult having children really is. It's not singing and running around all happy and energetic all the time. It's about sacrifice, being an adult even when you don't want to be. It's knowing that your desire to move to the beach for the summer is out of the question. It's being exhausted, sick, and stressed out, but putting on a happy face anyway. Being a parent is an amazing and incredible experience, but it is an experience that should wait until a person can bring their child into a stable, happy, secure emotionally and financially, home. I think that as someone who accidentally did not wait for this to happen, I can say a lot about how much easier this would have been with a mature, supportive, partner, and a lack of instability in the financial situation.

When I think about my experiences as a college educated women, I can see that I have many more options for myself to help me financially support my children. I see people with limited resources and limited education or skills on a daily basis, and as it is my job to help them improve their lives, this can often seem hopeless. I couldn't imagine tackling four years of college with a baby. I am already stressing out at the potential of two to three years of a Master's program! Being totally uneducated beyond high school, and no real professional experience can put a young, single parent behind the 8 ball to start.  All in all I really didn't have much point to this post, besides that I think my observation of Baby Bop influencing teen pregnancy as somewhat amusing. Sometimes you just have to do things to amuse yourself, even if no one else is laughing.  On that note, I'm debating the possibility of another post tonight, but it's about bedtime, so good night readers! Remember, only three more days until Friday!