Every Girl Needs a Tissue

The other day I was having a conversation with a good friend about a guy that she met that she wasn't quite sure if she was interested in, but wasn't getting adequate attention from the guy she was interested in. I know we've all been there, because man or women, the Midsummer Night's Dream scenario of girl loves guy, who loves another girl, who in turn loves another guy, who in turn, and so on and so on, is a reality, not just a comedy created by William Shakespeare. It's something we've all been victims of in the past and possibly in our present and future to. We see how wonderful a potential relationship with a person is, and how happy we would make them, but it often seems as if that person is not on the same page as we are, and no matter how hard you try (Look under 311 in my ITunes or at the WVU gear in my dresser drawer), you can't get them to just get with the program and comply with what you want. This is the common human problem of we want what we can't have. Hash tag it #humanproblems, tweet it, what have you, but we are all put in this situation at some point in our lives. Accepting the rejection of not always getting the "man or woman of your dreams" can be especially hard. Needless to say I have been there more times than I would care to admit in the last several years. On the plus side I really enjoy the band 311 AND I like WVU sports now. Everything happens for a reason I suppose.

Back to the point of my story. When listening to my friend talk I decided it was time to enlighten her to the term "tissue". What is a tissue you may ask? I will tell you. Think about what you do with a tissue. Take it out of the box, blow your nose in it, and toss it in the trash when your done. A tissue is the man that makes you feel special when the one your really into won't. He's the man that is OK with taking you out to dinner and not getting any (or at least if he's not OK he's too polite to admit it), or the man that can tell you your beautiful; even though it may not come from the man that your hot all over about, it still feels nice to be appreciated. You can even use them for a little wham bam thank you ma'am, if you so desire and do it safely. It fulfills the natural urges we have as humans to feel loved, to feel desired, and special. This may sound harsh, but men do it to women all the time. After a year and a half of feeling bad about myself. Angry and resentful that my children's dad moved on to someone else, and pissed off at the man after him who decided he didn't want my kids and I in his life, I decided I had had enough. I had had enough of men taking advantage of my feelings for them and making me feel bad about myself. This point of this is, is no one can make you feel anyway. Someone can tell you your ugly, and you feel bad, but they didn't make you feel bad. You feel bad because you got rejected and you are allowing someone else to control and manipulate how you feel. I came to the conclusion that enough was enough. Happiness is in ones own control. A relationship with another person cannot work if you aren't happy with yourself. Around this time I met a guy we shall call Irish. He took me to lunch and soon made it very clear that he wasn't trying to date, and blatantly said "I just want to F***". I explained that this was not what I was looking for, and if this was what he wanted, I wasn't his girl so lose my number. He continued to text me and let me know how attracted he was to me. I finally caved and after a couple of dates where he was getting no where. He asked to come down for dinner and to talk. He did the whole song and dance about "I decided I really like you", "lets talk about things and see where they go". I relented and (unsuccessfully) put my kids to bed and told him to come down. I called him when I would say he was probably right around the corner to inform him my kids were still awake. At this point he informed me he had "no interest in my kids and just wanted to F***". At that, I calmly told him to "F*** off", and informed him that we wanted different things and hung up on him. Needless to say, I still occasionally hear from him. I normally have taken the asshole stance and talk about other men to him and I can tell that just burns him up. It felt good to walk away from the situation on top for once, rather than feeling rejected and hurt. I decided that this was a good way to be, and am happy to say I haven't really been all that upset over a man ever since. Hence, the term tissue was born. Would I do this to a decent, kind, man? No. But as far as I'm concerned playing stupid games is just that, stupid. If I happen to come across a jerk who thinks he has the upper hand, can play games, and can get what he wants and bounce, I say play ball. At that point he can buy me dinner, he can take me on dates, and shower me with complimentary texts, but that's all he's going to do. Sometimes in life one chance is all you have and in relationships this should be true I think. I adore the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool you twice, shame on me". That, unfortunately, does not stop me from falling time and time again for two men that have been in my life, but it does allow me to keep some pride intact and now show just how worked up a select couple of men in my life can get me. I suppose such is life and dating.

I reminded my friend at this point that she wasn't having her needs fulfilled where she wanted them fulfilled, so even if she wasn't feeling like this guy was "the one", it couldn't hurt to get to know him a little better, and possibly see him again if she so desired. After educating her about the benefits of a tissue, she actually gave it another shot and things are going well. Sometimes a tissue becomes a handkerchief I suppose and sticks around longer, then just the tissue sitting in the car cup holder that eventually gets thrown away. I guess time will tell for my friend. On that note, it is wayyy past my bed time. So good night readers!